Esmi

Volume Seven completes the first set of communications from the Source. At this time a different kind of preface suggests itself. Throughout these years of recording “The Mysteries of Clear Light”, I, Esmi Fernau, have translated, interpreted and generally presented to the reader the message of the universal consciousness as given to Thespian Michaels. Until such time as we remember the language of light that we sense only dimly, that Isness speaks to us through many intermediaries. Let us not forget that, as we perceive their multiple approaches, that their many voices are invariably the same Voice. Whether a chapter appears under the heading of the Teachers, of Thespian or of the Source, or when at times I have added my own experience to a subject, these are still the expressions of a single Will. As I look back at the beginning of this project, I am humbled to realize how little I remembered and how deeply I was caught up in the dream we call reality. I don’t doubt that in time I will feel the same way about today’s awareness, much as it has expanded in the interim. Unbeknownst to me, my whole life, which seems interesting and full of adventures to others, was custom made to prepare me for this work. It is now clear that I trained for this project long before I took on this body. A fluency in several languages, a love of linguistics, an interest in connections and in sciences, are the tools I gave myself to facilitate the interpretation of concepts difficult to convey in any terrestrial tongue.

At first, I had little faith in the phenomenon that confronted me. As a pragmatist it was not easy for me to come to grip with this new dimension that was making itself irresistibly at home in my life. Then a wonder began to happen: just like Thomas who needed to touch the wounds so that he could believe, I was shown! Every time my intellect rebelled and my vaunted common sense wanted to say “impossible”, I was given to experience the thing I had doubted, and which held me back. Far from pursuing phenomena, I neither sought these experiences, nor were they ever repeated. But once only, whenever I needed to give up my proud worldly knowledge, I was shown something, which I could then no longer deny.

Today I write in absolute gnosis that what I put on paper is so. Some readers caught up in their religious dogmas have challenged me; “ Do you believe in God?” they asked. This strikes me as a meaningless question. Not only is “god” a concept unique and personal, which each individual would describe in his own way, but more to the point: “do you believe in your right hand?” How can I believe in that which is indissolubly me, while I am It? I would have to say no, I do not “believe in” God. Rather, like the Hindi, I would say: ”Tat tvam Asi”, Thou art that, and so am I and so is everything else.

To this day I cannot claim that I hear the voices of the Entities who download these volumes into Thespian’s mind. But I do feel guided in what I write. It begins with the sense that a definite consciousness is present as I work, guiding me in how best to present to the public the thoughts that my co-author intuitively receives in some approximate adaptation of the language of light. While translating from another spoken language is sometimes difficult, interpreting concepts that need no words while being infinitely more precise is daunting to say the least. Thespian does an astonishing preliminary job thanks to his connection to the absolute. By the same token, that very gift makes it difficult for him to adjust to every day conventions in forming sentences. It is obvious that our gifts were intended to complement each other.

Despite my initial reluctance to accept that my friend of many years had suddenly become a channel for messages from an all-pervading consciousness, I could not long deny the obvious. In short order I also began to receive at night, the detailed sentence structure or meaning that had eluded me. This practice has forced me, for years now, to wake up repeatedly at night and record the fleeting concepts that appear so clearly in my twilight state, since the wording that persists in the morning never seems quite as representative as that which appeared “print ready” when my intellect was not in the way. This accounts for the odd hours I keep, which leave me rarely available before noon.

As this initial series of books draws to an end, I was asked to recount my own connection with this venture and to give our readers an overview of how it all came about. I therefore break my resolution to stay in the background and to let the work speak for itself.

I am tempted to say that I lived a number of lives in this one body before meeting Thespian, so different have been the various periods and experiences on which I now draw to write these books. I met Thespian in 1973, a young adult of seventeen. Despite a first impression of immaturity, he soon manifested a certain almost uncanny “presence”. I was by then well into my middle years, daughter of an old European family with some world-war II experiences I could have done without. Notwithstanding the difference in ages and seemingly irreconcilable backgrounds, we were drawn to each other as though we had met before. Even then I somehow saw this youth as my spiritual elder. We had recently both suffered dramatic reversal, and were united in our need to start anew. Soon we both moved to Hawaii where, although residing on different islands and rarely meeting, we maintained a closeness almost impossible to describe. It is as though we were one soul in two bodies. During those years Thespian started a family and a successful business on Oahu while I, whose health had suffered from past experiences, lived quietly on Maui.

Then, in 1996, out of the blue, Thespian phoned and announced that for the last two years he had been helped to remember his purpose for incarnating at this time. He had practiced receiving communications from the Source and asked for my help in correcting the grammar and general presentation of the information he would henceforth be given. I was stunned! Of course, I had heard of channeling but never connected it to myself. I was unsure how I felt about being associated with such an enterprise. For the sake of friendship, I agreed to help out, thinking in terms of a week or two!

How little I knew. Even less did I suspect that I was shortly to embark on the greatest adventure of my life; or that the project I agreed to undertake would finally explain and put into perspective the tribulations I had survived and the many choices I had made, which even as I made them, often made no sense to me. I learned that my whole life had been a prelude to the work I was now committed to do. Had I missed the adventures I experienced in this, my current body, I would have lacked the depth of understanding required to do justice to the wisdom that speaks through us. I learned that the universe never demands that we blindly accept what we are told; instead, it grants us all the proof we need simply for the asking. In fact, contrary to the religions and philosophies that expect blind faith, questions are welcome and doubts are encouraged. In this way alone can we be convinced by incontrovertible facts. How else can we honestly share what we learn?

The language of the communications has evolved as the books progressed. As we learned, so did the Entities. They also adjusted to a more current manner of speech. Although the spirit of the text always derives from a single Origin, some of the presences who communicated in words were at first unfamiliar with modern English and used the language as spoken when they lived on Earth. Others, whose meaning was more difficult to grasp, had used other tongues or had never even embodied on Earth; these used what I can only call an adjusted form of the language of God, which communicates in concepts rather than in words. They would transmit an entire chapter as a single burst into Thespian’s mind; then, although the concepts were perfectly clear to him, it was left to us to struggle with putting this download into an understandable sequence. That extraordinary method of communication leaves no room for misunderstandings but putting it into words is another story. Still other entities were recognizable by their style, similar to their earthly writings, but refused to have their former identity acknowledged. Without my studies in linguistics and fluency in several languages, I could not have done justice to this work; but since I love the challenge it is a special thrill when the Teachers insist on using a specific word, which on the face of it seems absolutely wrong but later proves to be exactly right though obsolete in its current usage. In such a case I always keep the word they chose and leave it to you, the reader, to figure it out.

To me, the most amazing part of this process is perhaps that Thespian’s education did not prepare him to be familiar with such outdated terms. Even more impressive are his detailed descriptions of scientific subjects that deal with principles of which he knows nothing. In fact, during all the years we have worked on these seven books, he has been forbidden to engage in any research or to read except where it pertains to his profession. This caveat makes it impossible for him to inject, even unwittingly, any opinions or details that were not included in the original message. It is left to me, with my general but quite superficial understanding of quantum theory, astrophysics or cellular biology, as the case may be, to explain to him who wrote them, the subtleties of the cutting-edge theories he just propounded!

This description of my spiritual twin would not be complete without mentioning his habit of sharing with me many scientific concepts that never make it into the books. I can account for this only by noting that he clearly has direct access to the morphogenetic field of the planet, or to the consciousness that originates it. He often, out of the blue, throws out casual asides that pre-date by months the announcements of the latest findings in some esoteric field. Some subjects he speaks of are too far ahead of their time to be mentioned.

Having described some parts of the development of “The Mysteries of Clear Light”, I still feel at a loss each time someone asks: “what are your books about”? The closest description would be “A Philosophy of the Absolute”, since indeed they comprise comments and directives about all the subjects known to man. Isn’t that what Socrates meant by his love of wisdom? And without a doubt, as believed by Hegel and others, the books conceive Reality as a spiritual yet organic interconnected unity.

Finally, I must mention the odd fact that neither of us can remember what we wrote the moment it has been put on paper! Instead of remembering, we become what we wrote, so that when questioned on any subject included in the books, the information flows from us as though it were an ingrained part of ourselves, but if given the title of a chapter, we are unable to remember its details. It is interesting as well that some of our chapters have suggested lines of inquiry, which scientists would do well to investigate. Well so be it, it is out of our hands.

It pleases me immensely to see that some of the luminaries at the top of their fields in the sciences realize that everything is connected. There is no physics versus metaphysics any longer; there is only the physics we don’t yet understand. The same applies to all the sciences. As for pure philosophy, unless it includes all other disciplines, I suspect that it will be left behind.

It will remain to be seen whether the Source intends to have us write another series. Without a doubt, much remains to be told. When you, our readers, have read these seven books, be assured that you will not be the person you were when you started. And should you be inclined to read them over, as I have many times, you will be surprised and delighted to find in them treasures that you had missed, not through inattention but because your own spiritual growth will let you understand some parts that will have slipped by your earlier awareness.

Enjoy!